WHERE’S YOUR MILKSHAKE, ABRAHAM LINCOLN?! HAHAHAHAHA

I really need to do something with my life. Making snarky comments on weird pictures on the Internet is not a career. I’d go back to school, maybe hit up law school, but there’s no bank in the world that’d give me a loan after what I did last year. You guys didn’t hear about that? I went streaking at a Bank of America convention. Now I’m on a black list. It’s really not fair — what the hell does that have to do with my ability to pay off debt, BoA? Just because you saw my penis doesn’t mean I won’t pay my loan payment in a timely fashion!

Pricks.